B&D

I had a great nights sleep last night. Filled with interesting dreams. Probably un-interpretable. I dreamt that Nikki, Hannah, Lindsay, Olivia, and I were escaping the Nazis in Warsaw. When the gestapo officer announced we were to board the cattle cars, I thought of a plan to escape (somehow I foresaw my own demise...or i knew how history played itself out...I have obviously been reading too much Slaughterhouse Five). I sprinted past the tracks, bullets sparking as they hit the steel rails, missing me. I ducked into a nearby shop and hid in between the clothes rack. By the sickening smell of patchouli, I quickly realized I had sought refuge in one of those organic, beatnik stores owned by a crazy cat lady. The crazy cat lady was jew-friendly. And when a gestapo officer came in to search the shop, she pulled out a ballerina costume and told me to act graceful. She explained in Russian that I was a visiting ballerina from Prague, a Sugarplum fairy in the Nutcracker. (but it was summer!). I spotted hair gel and remembered that dancers use a lot of hair gel, so i smeared a lot of it onto my bun. I did some stretching. Tried to make it look legit. And I lived.

After a dream that on an MRI probably would have looked like my neurons had just snorted a line of coke off a toilet seat, I woke up to the sound of "New York, New York" (my roomate's ringtone). Took two Dayquil, drank a hurried cup of tea, ate an apple with peanut butter.

Ulpan was great today. My teacher says I have a convincing accent. I think my whole class thinks I have diarrhea because I keep on going to the bathroom to blow my nose with toilet paper.

During break, I returned a dress that I had bought the previous day that looked funny. I exchanged it for a white one because I realized I had no white clothes for Yom Kippur. (P.S. I am going to Jerusalem for Yom Kippur and staying in a MASA program hostel for a (suggested donation) fee of 50 NIS. Includes pre-fast meal and break-fast, seminars, services, lodging, the works.

For lunch, I thought it would be healthy and economical to pack myself a salad. But most of it leaked all over my bag. My journal smudged...my Burts Bees now glides over my lips like a chapstick that's been through the wash. eww.

After Ulpan, I went to the Bezalel market with Anna and Noa. Turns out it's just a big freaking pile of clothes. Israeli Goodwill. And israelis don't have good fashion sense when it comes to brand new clothes, nevermind secondhand clothes. I think most of the stuff the vendors stole off the back of trucks. They had everything from child's lycra dance costumes to baskets of nail filers.

We went to Shuk Ha Carmel to buy laundry detergent from the guy whose shop we spilled softener all over yesterday. He didn't recognize me. We bought Tide in powder form. A brand I could trust. and a toilet cleaner. and israeli Pantene conditioner :)

I bought a shitty burger at Burger Ranch. It was soooo bad. The pickles were sweet dill ones. No onions. The only good part about it was that as i was eating, I could look out the window and see the Chasidic man running around the main square, claiming he was the Messiah. And the fat woman singing israeli karaoke.

Came back to the flat. Did laundry. Showered. Left to meet our group to go to....drumroll....

wait...

no. wait...

THE BLIND/DEAF SHOW!!!! (really called "NOT BY BREAD ALONE")

that was the surprise our Madricha had for us.

I tried to contain my excitement over having already seen it. The cool part was that we actually had coffee (I had chai) and cake at Cafe Kapesh (I like to call it Deaf Diner).

The waiters could only speak sign language...and hebrew sign language is nothing like American sign language, so my lyrical signing of the song "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys was wasted on them.

The show itself was more enjoyable than last time. Maybe because i was more mature and handled it like an adult.

While the actors were baking bread, I was salivating. It was damnnnnn good bread. I saw old jewish women wrapping up pieces in napkins and stashing it in their purses.

The air conditioner is broken and i think i'm gonna sweat this night out in undergarments. There is a really drunk Spanish group outside our door...one of them must have a baseball bat because theres this really loud CRWHACK sound every 20 seconds or so.

I am sitting on my bed. Ready to sleep. Rrrrrrready to rrrrrrrrumble.